Mucking Out Your Money Stories
It’s all very well me asking you to raise your rates, but if you literally feel paralysed by the fear that you can’t or don’t deserve it, then that’s going to be like driving a car pressing down on the accelerator while your other foot is still on the break. AKA. Painful and no movement.
So where to start?
What you fundamentally believe about money is going to have a huge effect on the patterns that show up in your life and the relationship you have with money.
A core belief I'm consistently unpicking and rewiring is 'It has to be hard to earn money'. This belief has been running the show since I was little because a lot of what I saw of money was: stress, exhaustion, long days and late nights. So naturally, for a long time, I was working all hours of the day because I thought I 'had to' in order to 'deserve' it.
Once I began to change this belief though, so then did my patterns and behaviours, and I began to work less while earning more. Hoorah!
Need to know: Your beliefs are seriously powerful little buggers.
For example, one of my clients had a belief ‘it’s rude to talk about money.’ She didn’t make sales calls because: it’s rude to talk about money. She didn’t follow up with invoices because ‘it’s rude to talk about money.’ She was letting her clients dictate how much they paid because, ‘its rude to talk about money.’
As you can imagine: she wasn’t earning any money.
When together we uncovered where that belief came from, it turns out it was a time when she was 8 year old (where most of our beliefs are formed, by the way) and she was having dinner with her Dad and his boss. Sitting proudly at the dinner table, feeling like one of the grown ups, she threw in what she thought was a grown-up question: “Hey Mr, how much money do you earn?”
And it didn’t go down well.
That night, her Dad shouted at her “don’t you ever embarrass me like that again! It’s rude to talk about money.”
And there it was.
The belief that she would lug around with her, having it dictate her life, for the next twenty years.
If you find yourself saying the words ‘I can give you a discount’ more times than a used car salesman, even though you KNOW you’re already underselling yourself as it is but all you can do is watch the words as they tumble out of your mouth… then there’s a belief or ten just like Hannah’s lurking under there. It might come down to: I’m not worthy, I’m not good enough, I don’t value myself in this moment, I feel desperate for the sale…
Whatever it is, it’s holding you back. And it’s time to uproot that crap.
So first up is awareness: get clear about the first memories you have around money - what did your parents teach you? What did your grandparents teach you? Teachers, friends, guardians, carers, TV shows? This will lead you closely to the beliefs you still hold. Then take a look at how these beliefs are showing up in your life and business today.
If you were taught ‘you have to work hard to earn money’ - how is that showing up for you?
If you were taught ‘you have to hold on to money tightly when you get it’ - how is that showing up for you?
If you were taught ‘spend what you have before the tax man gets it’ - how is that showing up for you?
These are some examples of beliefs that have cropped up for me, and from my clients.
Action Step: Journal on your own learnings around money growing up, and how it’s playing out for you now.
Tomorrow we’re looking at what MORE money really is for you.