When Doing It Alone Is Just Sad And Painful (Not A Euphemism...)




The bleeps got louder and faster as I panted my way under the hot Ibizan sun, desperately awaiting a lady much older than me to drop out so I could at least maintain a small bit of dignity to finish the torture.

It was the bleep test I was undertaking on my holistic bootcamp retreat I was on earlier in the Summer. The dreaded test in which you begin running as a group from one wall to another, having to speed things up as the length of time in between the bleeps get shorter, and one by one each person drops out until there’s a single running champion left.

The last time I’d taken part in such torture, I was aged 13 at high school - and I remember it being equally hellish back then. My lungs burned and my chest pounded, as I cursed myself for being so crap and watching on at *that* sporty girl in P.E. who just kept going as if it didn’t phase her at all. Meanwhile I’m experiencing a near heart attack in the corner, hoping to go quietly so as not to attract the attention of my eagle-eyed peers.

And here, in Ibiza, in a beautiful villa on the island, 15 years later as an actual adult, knowing for sure now that it didn’t matter in the slightest on my score in the way I felt it had back at school: I stopped running. “Sod this!” I proclaimed. I had no interest in pursuing the torture any longer.

But my eyes immediately filled with tears. Shame washed over me. I was back there, at high school, beating myself up at what a failure I was. Feeling frustrated and embarrassed at barely managing to scrape a pass level.

(Feelings get stuck within us, you see. Those memories and emotions that happen at a young age get lodged deep within our cells. And sometimes, it’s not until much, much later that we realise they’re still there!)

After my inner realisation of “Really?! I have to do some healing on the god damn bleep test?!” I swallowed hard and pulled myself together, before it was time for round 2. But this time as a team of 3. And, as I was preparing to fake an injury and sit this one out, my teammates grabbed my hand and we lined up.

My chest pounded, the sweat dripped down my back, the heat was scorching the top of my head, but the sight of my team members looking towards me with palms outstretched, waiting for their turn, seemed to spur me on.

“You can do it, Soph!” one shouted. “Lean forward so you don’t have as far to go!” shouted the other. Little care packages that greeted my ears with every step.

The cheering of my name as I got closer, the feeling that someone else cared about my success, the voices that overturned and uplifted the mean ones that had been stuck on repeat in my mind just minutes before, the thrill at cheering others on to support them to keep going too - I didn’t have a moment to think about the fact “I had to stop asap.” In fact, the only thought I had was ‘I have to keep going.”

If not for me, for my team.

If not for me, for us all.

Keep going. Keep going. Keep going.

And we only went and won.

Level 22 - the highest level to reach! The beeps couldn’t stop us now. Faster and faster we went, high-fiving at every side, even with enough energy to cheer and shout and whoop and holler at the top of our lungs.

Because that’s the thing about having people around you that have got your back…

They remind you how brilliant you are, even if you’ve forgotten.

They give you the energy to keep it up, when alone you were on the brink of checking out.

They tell you that you can do it, and drown out the voices in your head that tell you otherwise.

You know the saying: “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”  It really happens to be true.

Gather your team, baby. Cos’ you’ve got some winning to do!

- - -


I’d love to be on your team!

You really don’t have to do this alone. You’re allowed to let someone else take over the reigns for a little bit, while you get your breath back. To help you make the tweaks and adjustments you need to turn things around. To help you drown out those voices in your head and replace them with words of unshakeable self-belief.

Right now, there are three delicious ways we can make that happen.

Head over here to find out all about them >>>

Psst...I wanted to let you know that as we edge closer to the final quarter of the year, my prices will be increasing. If you’ve been wanting to work together for a while, I’d highly recommend booking in now!

If you book your application call before 10th September, you can secure the current price (even if you want to get started from October onwards.) So it’s worth getting booked in for a chat asap! Take a look at the option that suits you best, and book in your call over here.

All my love,


Sophie FrenchComment